Imaginary Guillotine

These past few days felt like being in an imaginary guillotine, yung tipong may something na nageexert ng pressure sa neck ko, even if it doesn’t exist — at least physically. I don’t even want to put an introduction to this anymore, it’s a waste of time.

I want to have fun, again.

Akala ko nahanap ko na ang reason ko for being here, but then nawawala ulit ako. Parang group of knotted strings lang siya eh, hindi ko alam bakit nagbuhol-buhol, at hindi ko alam where to start to fix it. It could be a result of overthinking (most likely ayun nga), pero I can’t stop thinking.

As much as I need to study 154, I can’t.

Even though I study chemistry, I can’t seem to find the solution appropriate to my problems, and no, knowing the electrolyte, solute, solvent, concentration and even the volume of the solution won’t help. Maybe only I can find it.

At least a lot of people find their happiness somewhere, while I am here, typing in front of a laptop, trying to find it. Maybe, one of the billions of unfortunate ones in this world. And that answer could be……………

But I don’t know.

I don’t know.

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